Its been way too long, and I need to get back into the habit of posting.
Sundays are a great day to relax and re-touch with heaven. There have been many things on my mind lately, especially with the whole Anti-Islamic movement that seems to have started... and I thought I'd just share some of my own thoughts on all of it. My hope is not to offend anyone.. at all.
In light of the recent and almost "Burn the Qur'an day" which thankfully didn't happen yesterday, as was scheduled, with who I am and what I stand for I again, thought it was appropriate to share my own thoughts. As someone who grew up in the country considered most holy of the Islamic faith, I know without a shadow of a doubt that Islam is not an "evil religion" as some say. It's the exact opposite. Yes, you have crazy people who do rash and extreme things, but there's crazy people everywhere. Crazy people who do things in the name of religion, when in spite of it all, they're not giving a good name to the religion at all. The KKK burned people's houses down (and people) in the name of Christianity, just as terrorist commit suicide to kill others thinking they're doing good in the name of Islam when they're not.
The Muslims I know are good, pure, devoted people. I love the mentality of Islam and how it teaches its followers to serve God alone. I find it even hard to express how much love I have deep in my heart for the good members of the Islamic faith, who have already changed my life. People who live for the benefits of others, people who are hospitable, kind, and devout every second of every day of their lives to praising the Almighty God. Those who live True Islam, understand the worth of life, and of the greater good.
In no way shape or form am I complaining about those who do not understand Islam. I myself admit that I am far from an advanced understanding. But if one thing is true, I know that with the declining situation the world is in today, if people want to fight against what truly is evil, to stand up for what is right, and to hold on to all that is good.... then as religious people, as people with morals who are humane and love God, and who love good values--it is a time for unity among religions. There is no other need than there is now to learn of others, learn to tolerate their religions and learn in their differences how they accomplish good, together. Unity among people is what the world needs. It's not a battle against whose right, it's a battle of preserving all that is true and good versus all that will cause destruction to our happiness. Just as the verse in "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" says, "The wrong shall fail, the right prevail. With peace on Earth, good will to men!" I know that if we as people can come to understand each other, the wrong will fail, and the right prevail, bringing us that peace we so deeply desire in our lives.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Petty Things and the Love of God
As a lot of people know, I have started working at "Brighton LDS Girls Camp" and this will be my 3rd year working up there.
This week was amazing. I absolutely love working at Brighton Camp. Someone at camp this week said that the difference between camp and being in the Valley, is that you learn to not think about or care about the Petty things in life. And I believe that yes, that is definitely true about camp, because all you concentrate on is the Lord's work, and building his kingdom. In the past summers, I've honestly felt like I was living in Zion, because everyone works for the same thing: Love each other, and work to build his kingdom. It is wonderful! No one cares what other's think about them, because no one will judge you. You act as crazy as you possibly can imagine and you are completely comfortable with yourself and everything around you. Nothing can stunt your growth. That is what I learned this week at camp: Forget the Petty things, because the things of God are so much more important, and he will always provide a way for things to work out... why? Because of His immense love for us.
I was talking to my sister on Friday as I drove back from the Canyon to Provo. She's actually in Jordan right now for an Internship, and she told me about an experience she is going through right now.
She was with some returned missionaries when a man asked them how we, (Mormons) define God. The Returned Missionary proceeded to tell him that we believe that we are literally children of God. To most people this comes as quite a surprise, and my sister proceeded to tell me that this man was almost offended, because "how could you be equal to God?" which to me totally makes sense from an outside perspective... God is all powerful, omniscient and omni-present.. so why could we compare ourselves to and say we can become like God? But that's the miracle behind it... because it is true. Yes, it takes faith, but nothing good (knowledge in this case) comes without a little work, right? We really are children of God, and when someone understands that, then truly they can start to begin to comprehend his immense and whole-perfect love for us, His children.
The cute part about the story, is that my sister told me that she's been working at a center for 14-18 year old girls who have been raped. Some of these girls are pregnant, some of them already have their babies and just hold them with them, but all of them, she basically told me, hate their lives. She said some of them are so miserable, they'll lay on the floor for 4 hours at a time doing nothing in their despair. They feel like they are nothing. They feel like the have zero worth, and that not a single person cares about them. What is most touching about this, is that she told me that when she goes and see them 3 times a week, the moment she walks into the room, they run towards her and surround her in a circle, almost suffocating her with the closeness of their bodies....... because she makes them feel good. Because she pays attention to them, and asks them questions, or compliments them in the simplest way. "Oh you look pretty today" or other small things like that. She told me that it really breaks her heart because if only they knew that they DID have worth, that God truly and sincerely loves every single one of them with a fullness of Love.. that even though they have had terrible things happen to them (not because they did anything wrong or because God doesn't love them, but only because of the free agency of others) she wishes they knew that God still loves them with an unbreakable love.
Oh, if I could have one wish, it would be to let every single person on the planet come to understand of God's great individual love for that person. I know He loves us, and I know he's listening and watching. Through my own personal experiences and watching God's hand in others lives, I know that if it matters to you, it matters to God. No matter how small or menial the thing you care about may be to another person, no matter if you're the ONLY person on the planet who cares....... if it matters to you, it matters to God; and that is the truth.
This week was amazing. I absolutely love working at Brighton Camp. Someone at camp this week said that the difference between camp and being in the Valley, is that you learn to not think about or care about the Petty things in life. And I believe that yes, that is definitely true about camp, because all you concentrate on is the Lord's work, and building his kingdom. In the past summers, I've honestly felt like I was living in Zion, because everyone works for the same thing: Love each other, and work to build his kingdom. It is wonderful! No one cares what other's think about them, because no one will judge you. You act as crazy as you possibly can imagine and you are completely comfortable with yourself and everything around you. Nothing can stunt your growth. That is what I learned this week at camp: Forget the Petty things, because the things of God are so much more important, and he will always provide a way for things to work out... why? Because of His immense love for us.
I was talking to my sister on Friday as I drove back from the Canyon to Provo. She's actually in Jordan right now for an Internship, and she told me about an experience she is going through right now.
She was with some returned missionaries when a man asked them how we, (Mormons) define God. The Returned Missionary proceeded to tell him that we believe that we are literally children of God. To most people this comes as quite a surprise, and my sister proceeded to tell me that this man was almost offended, because "how could you be equal to God?" which to me totally makes sense from an outside perspective... God is all powerful, omniscient and omni-present.. so why could we compare ourselves to and say we can become like God? But that's the miracle behind it... because it is true. Yes, it takes faith, but nothing good (knowledge in this case) comes without a little work, right? We really are children of God, and when someone understands that, then truly they can start to begin to comprehend his immense and whole-perfect love for us, His children.
The cute part about the story, is that my sister told me that she's been working at a center for 14-18 year old girls who have been raped. Some of these girls are pregnant, some of them already have their babies and just hold them with them, but all of them, she basically told me, hate their lives. She said some of them are so miserable, they'll lay on the floor for 4 hours at a time doing nothing in their despair. They feel like they are nothing. They feel like the have zero worth, and that not a single person cares about them. What is most touching about this, is that she told me that when she goes and see them 3 times a week, the moment she walks into the room, they run towards her and surround her in a circle, almost suffocating her with the closeness of their bodies....... because she makes them feel good. Because she pays attention to them, and asks them questions, or compliments them in the simplest way. "Oh you look pretty today" or other small things like that. She told me that it really breaks her heart because if only they knew that they DID have worth, that God truly and sincerely loves every single one of them with a fullness of Love.. that even though they have had terrible things happen to them (not because they did anything wrong or because God doesn't love them, but only because of the free agency of others) she wishes they knew that God still loves them with an unbreakable love.
Oh, if I could have one wish, it would be to let every single person on the planet come to understand of God's great individual love for that person. I know He loves us, and I know he's listening and watching. Through my own personal experiences and watching God's hand in others lives, I know that if it matters to you, it matters to God. No matter how small or menial the thing you care about may be to another person, no matter if you're the ONLY person on the planet who cares....... if it matters to you, it matters to God; and that is the truth.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Funny Story and the Importance of Kindness
So, I have a funny story that I wasn't going to post, but my sister Rhiannon told me I should, and then i'll share an insight I picked up. Both of these happend on my way travelling back to the US just a few days ago...
So my first flight from Saudi was to Dubai. I had a 5 hr layover and just hung out and walked around.. when the time was nearing for my flight to take off, I went and sat near the gate. An older man came and sat next to me, and we started chatting. I learned he worked for a company in Iraq for the military, and there actually were a LOT of military guys on my flight going back to the states for a summer vacation.
In the Dubai airport, there are security check-points in front of every gate. But because on this particular occassion, they weren't working, everyone just walked through, they scanned you with hand scanners (because it's the middle east, women also go into a separate room to be scanned), and then you were to continue on into lines where people behind the counter would look through your stuff as you stood and watched them.
So the guy I lined up in front of, didn't speak English. Based only on his appearance I think he was from Indonesia, but I'm not sure. He started going through my bags, and pulled out a tampon. By the look on his face, I could tell he had no idea what it was. So he holds it up in the air, and I kid you not for almost 2 minutes straight is staring at it, playing with it trying to figure out what it was. I was so embarrassed! Usually I don't care about these things because I know that everyone knows what they are. I knew I couldn't just say the word "tampon" because I was nearly surrounded by US military men, and they would stare in my direction! And I couldn't explain to him what it was, becuase he didn't know English! I had no idea what to do, and just sat patiently waiting, hoping he'd give up and put it back into my bag...
Finally the lady next to him who was checking bags, looks up, starts laughing, looks at him and says the word "Napkin" (which is the word they use to describe those feminine things, but I guess it had slipped my mind because I usually don't use that word...) the guy, clearly embarrassed, stuffs it back into my bag and gives me my stuff back. It was so funny! Embarrassing for a few minutes, but nonetheless funny!
As for the lesson learned, I also thought about this because of an airport experience.
Something I've learnd about Arabs, more especially Saudis over the years, is that they are very sensitive to people's emotions. For example, let's say you're having a bad day. They can tell whether you're just stressed, versus if you're angry... like they can name the exact emotion.. and for someone like me, who generally likes to hide my negative emotions, that is crazy! In the past actually, it's upset me a lot because if I was having a bad day, they'd sit there and argue with me, it can get really frustrating.
So when I got to the airport in Dammam (a city about 40 min from my hometown in Saudi) I put my stuff through the scanner, and honestly I will admit I had a souvenir in my bag (that was framed) but when looking through the image in the scanner, makes it look sketchy. So the Saudi guard wanted to know why I had it, and I could tell he was ready to put up a fight if I put up a wall and argued with him, as so many people usually do argue with them...
Because of my experience though, I know that if I want to slide past the situation smoothly, I act chill and happy. So that's what I did, "Oh it's just a souvenir! It's framed" in the sweetest voice with a smile on my face and an understanding expression of why he's asking questions. He smiled back, said, "ok ok ok" and let me go. No problem. Done deal. Anyone whose lived in the Middle East for a time knows that this is how you get past any sort of trouble. Just act happy... even if you ARE having a bad day, you have to force yourself to get over it, and smile, or you will end up having to deal with a lot more than you want.
I guess as I walked away and thought about it, the connection I made was about kindness. All anyone wants, is kindness. In the years past I've learned that if I suck up my pride for at least 5 min I can get past angry security guards, passport officials, or the motauwas (religious police) and move on. But I realize that I can choose to do that anyway, even if I'm not in the presence of an authoritative figure. Even though I've known that I can choose to be happy and kind for 5 min when communicating, I think for the first time the impact of that lesson really hit me.
I think to myself, "Muriel, if you're upset... stop. No one, including yourself is benefiting from it." And as hard as it can be when frustration sets in, I know it is possible to stop, and I've seen many others do the same. (I mean yes, I believe there is a time for sadness and mourning or being upset/angry/frustrated or you'll bottle everything up and explode, but I also recognize it is unwise to stay there for too long, especially when you're with other people) I know it is possible in every situation in life: choose to be kind, choose to be happy, and you will therefore make others happy... no matter how you're feeling at the moment; it's surprising to me though that it is possible at how quick those emotions can evaporate! Showing kindness to another will erase all negativity within. Just like the saying always goes, "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice" as cheesy as it would be for me to end on that note, I know it's true. Kindness goes a long way, especially when you're upset.
So my first flight from Saudi was to Dubai. I had a 5 hr layover and just hung out and walked around.. when the time was nearing for my flight to take off, I went and sat near the gate. An older man came and sat next to me, and we started chatting. I learned he worked for a company in Iraq for the military, and there actually were a LOT of military guys on my flight going back to the states for a summer vacation.
In the Dubai airport, there are security check-points in front of every gate. But because on this particular occassion, they weren't working, everyone just walked through, they scanned you with hand scanners (because it's the middle east, women also go into a separate room to be scanned), and then you were to continue on into lines where people behind the counter would look through your stuff as you stood and watched them.
So the guy I lined up in front of, didn't speak English. Based only on his appearance I think he was from Indonesia, but I'm not sure. He started going through my bags, and pulled out a tampon. By the look on his face, I could tell he had no idea what it was. So he holds it up in the air, and I kid you not for almost 2 minutes straight is staring at it, playing with it trying to figure out what it was. I was so embarrassed! Usually I don't care about these things because I know that everyone knows what they are. I knew I couldn't just say the word "tampon" because I was nearly surrounded by US military men, and they would stare in my direction! And I couldn't explain to him what it was, becuase he didn't know English! I had no idea what to do, and just sat patiently waiting, hoping he'd give up and put it back into my bag...
Finally the lady next to him who was checking bags, looks up, starts laughing, looks at him and says the word "Napkin" (which is the word they use to describe those feminine things, but I guess it had slipped my mind because I usually don't use that word...) the guy, clearly embarrassed, stuffs it back into my bag and gives me my stuff back. It was so funny! Embarrassing for a few minutes, but nonetheless funny!
As for the lesson learned, I also thought about this because of an airport experience.
Something I've learnd about Arabs, more especially Saudis over the years, is that they are very sensitive to people's emotions. For example, let's say you're having a bad day. They can tell whether you're just stressed, versus if you're angry... like they can name the exact emotion.. and for someone like me, who generally likes to hide my negative emotions, that is crazy! In the past actually, it's upset me a lot because if I was having a bad day, they'd sit there and argue with me, it can get really frustrating.
So when I got to the airport in Dammam (a city about 40 min from my hometown in Saudi) I put my stuff through the scanner, and honestly I will admit I had a souvenir in my bag (that was framed) but when looking through the image in the scanner, makes it look sketchy. So the Saudi guard wanted to know why I had it, and I could tell he was ready to put up a fight if I put up a wall and argued with him, as so many people usually do argue with them...
Because of my experience though, I know that if I want to slide past the situation smoothly, I act chill and happy. So that's what I did, "Oh it's just a souvenir! It's framed" in the sweetest voice with a smile on my face and an understanding expression of why he's asking questions. He smiled back, said, "ok ok ok" and let me go. No problem. Done deal. Anyone whose lived in the Middle East for a time knows that this is how you get past any sort of trouble. Just act happy... even if you ARE having a bad day, you have to force yourself to get over it, and smile, or you will end up having to deal with a lot more than you want.
I guess as I walked away and thought about it, the connection I made was about kindness. All anyone wants, is kindness. In the years past I've learned that if I suck up my pride for at least 5 min I can get past angry security guards, passport officials, or the motauwas (religious police) and move on. But I realize that I can choose to do that anyway, even if I'm not in the presence of an authoritative figure. Even though I've known that I can choose to be happy and kind for 5 min when communicating, I think for the first time the impact of that lesson really hit me.
I think to myself, "Muriel, if you're upset... stop. No one, including yourself is benefiting from it." And as hard as it can be when frustration sets in, I know it is possible to stop, and I've seen many others do the same. (I mean yes, I believe there is a time for sadness and mourning or being upset/angry/frustrated or you'll bottle everything up and explode, but I also recognize it is unwise to stay there for too long, especially when you're with other people) I know it is possible in every situation in life: choose to be kind, choose to be happy, and you will therefore make others happy... no matter how you're feeling at the moment; it's surprising to me though that it is possible at how quick those emotions can evaporate! Showing kindness to another will erase all negativity within. Just like the saying always goes, "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice" as cheesy as it would be for me to end on that note, I know it's true. Kindness goes a long way, especially when you're upset.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
The Kingdom
My family went out to dinner tonight. My brother was itching to go to this Italian restaurant, "Vapiano" at one of the local malls. A friend of his told him how much he liked it so yesterday when my dad suggested we go out, he anxiously spoke up.
Leaving the compound and going into the city, is always an adventure. I scramble through the hanging black abayas grabbing the closest one. In a rush to leave, I uncomfortably realize the one I grabbed was a bit too small, and a bit too short. By small I mean it is almost fitted. By short, I mean, it's showing 2 inches above my ankles--manageable, but not the best idea. Lots of people will stare. Its long sleeves and long front, cover from my shoulders to.. well, almost the ground, enables me (when it fits right) to essentially wear whatever I want (even my pjs) underneath and nobody will know! But because I'm wearing shorts underneath and don't have time to change, I just get into the car accepting that if I play it cool and confident, maybe nobody will notice my "bare" legs.
My dad gets in the driver seat, my mom in the passenger, and my brother and I are in the back. It's against the law for women to drive outside of the compound, which actually I'm grateful for because I wouldn't be surprised if Saudi was voted the #1 country of worse drivers in the world. But then again, I haven't been to every country, so I don't know. Driving on the shoulder, honking at red lights so they will change quicker, 6 lanes of traffic when there are actually 3 painted on the road, is quite common. In the 10 years my family has lived here, I've never seen a cross walk outside of the compound. To my own understanding, I'm pretty sure they don't exist. Cops don't pull people over for fear that they will pull over the 'wrong' Saudi (one that is too politically high in the royal family), thus getting fired. It's crazy, but the driving scene makes for a great adventure!
Before going to the restaurant, we stop at an office store so my mom can buy permanent markers. My brother and I are anxious, because it's almost prayer time; we know that if we aren't quick enough, not only will we be kicked out of the store, but we won't be admitted into the restaurant until after prayer is over, and we were so hungry!
The malls in the middle east are so big. I just measured the one we went to on google earth, it's half a mile from one point to another, but it feels so much bigger than that. I've never been around the entire thing since they built it 6 years ago, because they keep adding to it! One of my favorite things about walking around though, is seeing all the cute Saudi families. Husbands and wives together, sometimes with their children; or the groups of women in their abayas (they cover their heads and faces though) as they hold up short halter-topped or sleeveless dresses of different sizes and colors that they can wear with their girlfriends, to their all-girl parties.
As we approach the restaurant, we realize we are too late. 'Salat' or prayer has already started, but I was so grateful that the filipino waiters still let us come inside. We took a seat and for the next 20-30 min talked and watched the outside world while we waited for prayer to finish. Through the tinted windows you could see the heavy traffic outside, the glamorous flashing colored lights of the mall, and groups of saudi teenage boys dressed in their European style clothes walk by.
When we were done eating, and were walking back outside to the car, I turned and looked at the moon. Becuase of Saudi weather and the amount of sand/dust particles in the air, your perception of the sky is very different here. First, the moon has a yellow tint to it, and second, the sky is never blue; always grey. The temp tower said it was 37 degrees Celcius, but it felt so much cooler.
As I look back on the typical experience into the city, as I always do after a visit, I wonder every time how much time I have left. I realize how much I love the culture here, the ironies, and the friendliness of Arabs. Even if I only have a few visits left, I'm glad I have my memories and my stories of the things that I have learned here.
Leaving the compound and going into the city, is always an adventure. I scramble through the hanging black abayas grabbing the closest one. In a rush to leave, I uncomfortably realize the one I grabbed was a bit too small, and a bit too short. By small I mean it is almost fitted. By short, I mean, it's showing 2 inches above my ankles--manageable, but not the best idea. Lots of people will stare. Its long sleeves and long front, cover from my shoulders to.. well, almost the ground, enables me (when it fits right) to essentially wear whatever I want (even my pjs) underneath and nobody will know! But because I'm wearing shorts underneath and don't have time to change, I just get into the car accepting that if I play it cool and confident, maybe nobody will notice my "bare" legs.
My dad gets in the driver seat, my mom in the passenger, and my brother and I are in the back. It's against the law for women to drive outside of the compound, which actually I'm grateful for because I wouldn't be surprised if Saudi was voted the #1 country of worse drivers in the world. But then again, I haven't been to every country, so I don't know. Driving on the shoulder, honking at red lights so they will change quicker, 6 lanes of traffic when there are actually 3 painted on the road, is quite common. In the 10 years my family has lived here, I've never seen a cross walk outside of the compound. To my own understanding, I'm pretty sure they don't exist. Cops don't pull people over for fear that they will pull over the 'wrong' Saudi (one that is too politically high in the royal family), thus getting fired. It's crazy, but the driving scene makes for a great adventure!
Before going to the restaurant, we stop at an office store so my mom can buy permanent markers. My brother and I are anxious, because it's almost prayer time; we know that if we aren't quick enough, not only will we be kicked out of the store, but we won't be admitted into the restaurant until after prayer is over, and we were so hungry!
The malls in the middle east are so big. I just measured the one we went to on google earth, it's half a mile from one point to another, but it feels so much bigger than that. I've never been around the entire thing since they built it 6 years ago, because they keep adding to it! One of my favorite things about walking around though, is seeing all the cute Saudi families. Husbands and wives together, sometimes with their children; or the groups of women in their abayas (they cover their heads and faces though) as they hold up short halter-topped or sleeveless dresses of different sizes and colors that they can wear with their girlfriends, to their all-girl parties.
As we approach the restaurant, we realize we are too late. 'Salat' or prayer has already started, but I was so grateful that the filipino waiters still let us come inside. We took a seat and for the next 20-30 min talked and watched the outside world while we waited for prayer to finish. Through the tinted windows you could see the heavy traffic outside, the glamorous flashing colored lights of the mall, and groups of saudi teenage boys dressed in their European style clothes walk by.
When we were done eating, and were walking back outside to the car, I turned and looked at the moon. Becuase of Saudi weather and the amount of sand/dust particles in the air, your perception of the sky is very different here. First, the moon has a yellow tint to it, and second, the sky is never blue; always grey. The temp tower said it was 37 degrees Celcius, but it felt so much cooler.
As I look back on the typical experience into the city, as I always do after a visit, I wonder every time how much time I have left. I realize how much I love the culture here, the ironies, and the friendliness of Arabs. Even if I only have a few visits left, I'm glad I have my memories and my stories of the things that I have learned here.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Love is a Choice
For the past year I've been thinking about something that, I think I'm starting to understand...
CS Lewis wrote a book called, "The Four Loves." (It's a short book, and would recommend it to anyone.) Anyway, in the book he says something about how God loves us because he just does. He doesn't love us for a reason, he just loves.... which at the time was an incomplete thought.
Despite what we are taught, I would think, "how can He love me?" He is perfect. I am no where near perfection, and cannot even hope to obtain it in this lifetime. I can only strive to be a better person than I was yesterday. God is not a respector of persons; He is thorough. He is whole. He loves ONLY good. Yet, He loves me. I'm not always good... even when I don't know I'm transgressing.
So, in my sins and transgressions, my weaknesses and faults; when I disobey His will.... how is it possible for Him to love me? The idea didn't make sense to me, and it was hard for me to accept because there was some thing missing. I felt that a perfect being could not love an imperfect being. A clean person cannot live in dirty house, they'd go mad. An honest person can't live in a cave of thieves...etc.
But recently through some experiences I've had, I realize that if I really sat down and thought about why I loved someone (for example: my brother, James) I ask, 'Why do I love him?' Not because he sees the good in people, or because he's adventurous, or because he has the conviction to do good things, but I love my brother because I want to---I'm choosing to love him, just because. And that's when it clicked :)
God loves us, not because some of us are beautiful, or because someone of us give humanitarian aid, or because some of us go out of our way to do something nice for someone. He Loves us because he wants to, He chooses to Love us, because he chooses to Love us.
Furthermore, like I said earlier, God is not a respector of persons. He loves every single one of us, the same amount--(unconditionally!) But He can't love two people the same amount when one person gives money to the poor, and the other person doesn't. That would be unjust! He would cease to be God.
Therefore, I know that God loves us, not for any beautiful reason, or for any reason that we tell ourselves is why God loves us, but because He chooses to love us. That is the ONLY reason that He loves us, and that is what makes Him perfect... because of His perfect love. It has nothing to do with OUR weaknesses.
The greatest form of flattery, is imitation. So I think to myself, how can I even begin to love like God does? I guess in my quest, it will be by choosing to love others... just because.
CS Lewis wrote a book called, "The Four Loves." (It's a short book, and would recommend it to anyone.) Anyway, in the book he says something about how God loves us because he just does. He doesn't love us for a reason, he just loves.... which at the time was an incomplete thought.
Despite what we are taught, I would think, "how can He love me?" He is perfect. I am no where near perfection, and cannot even hope to obtain it in this lifetime. I can only strive to be a better person than I was yesterday. God is not a respector of persons; He is thorough. He is whole. He loves ONLY good. Yet, He loves me. I'm not always good... even when I don't know I'm transgressing.
So, in my sins and transgressions, my weaknesses and faults; when I disobey His will.... how is it possible for Him to love me? The idea didn't make sense to me, and it was hard for me to accept because there was some thing missing. I felt that a perfect being could not love an imperfect being. A clean person cannot live in dirty house, they'd go mad. An honest person can't live in a cave of thieves...etc.
But recently through some experiences I've had, I realize that if I really sat down and thought about why I loved someone (for example: my brother, James) I ask, 'Why do I love him?' Not because he sees the good in people, or because he's adventurous, or because he has the conviction to do good things, but I love my brother because I want to---I'm choosing to love him, just because. And that's when it clicked :)
God loves us, not because some of us are beautiful, or because someone of us give humanitarian aid, or because some of us go out of our way to do something nice for someone. He Loves us because he wants to, He chooses to Love us, because he chooses to Love us.
Furthermore, like I said earlier, God is not a respector of persons. He loves every single one of us, the same amount--(unconditionally!) But He can't love two people the same amount when one person gives money to the poor, and the other person doesn't. That would be unjust! He would cease to be God.
Therefore, I know that God loves us, not for any beautiful reason, or for any reason that we tell ourselves is why God loves us, but because He chooses to love us. That is the ONLY reason that He loves us, and that is what makes Him perfect... because of His perfect love. It has nothing to do with OUR weaknesses.
The greatest form of flattery, is imitation. So I think to myself, how can I even begin to love like God does? I guess in my quest, it will be by choosing to love others... just because.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Heartstrings: Life is sweet.
Today was interesting. Well "interesting" I guess that doesn't make it different than any other day, lol.
I said good-bye to a friend of mine, that I've grown very close to over the last 3 years of my college experience. She probably is the one person who has stuck around the longest these college years, (because most of my friends that I met around the same time have gone on missions or gotten married--not saying I'm upset that they've made those incredible life-changing decisions--She has just been with me from the beginning) and this morning I hugged her good-bye, not knowing when I'll see her again. She's turning in her mission papers this summer, and I'm still living my life one day at a time, not quite knowing where my feet will take me. It might have been the last good-bye. Maybe not. But it was hard.
I guess I should be use to saying good-byes. In the international world people come and go as fast as fads change. Growing up in the region of the world wedged between 3 continents, going to an international school representing over 20 nationalities as the people you've grown closest with, and each returning to their home country where you'll never see them again...... you'd think after being introduced and saying good-bye so many times, one would be use to it. I guess not.
On the other hand, I photographed a beautiful bride this afternoon as she walked out of the Jordan River Temple with her new husband and their families. Beautiful would probably be the best word to describe it, but that is undoubtedly an understatement. She GLOWED, with happiness. Literally. It was a cloudy day-- I'm pretty sure the light in her eyes wasn't coming from the Sun, but the source of her pure light illuminated up from the depths of her soul. She was beautiful. Her family was beautiful. It was cute, because after a while I noticed between every click of my camera, she would giggle-- mind you, I took over 800 photos. She was beyond Happy.
Life is full of sacrifices. But I also know, sacrifices are worth it. Even if they seem to get harder as you grow older, the joys that come from life also seem to become more fulfilling. I'm struggling trying to find a relation between these two stories other than the lesson that I've learned, is that some things in life are hard, but behind the corner is always something that will make up for your sorrow. The trick is to look for the silver lining.
I said good-bye to a friend of mine, that I've grown very close to over the last 3 years of my college experience. She probably is the one person who has stuck around the longest these college years, (because most of my friends that I met around the same time have gone on missions or gotten married--not saying I'm upset that they've made those incredible life-changing decisions--She has just been with me from the beginning) and this morning I hugged her good-bye, not knowing when I'll see her again. She's turning in her mission papers this summer, and I'm still living my life one day at a time, not quite knowing where my feet will take me. It might have been the last good-bye. Maybe not. But it was hard.
I guess I should be use to saying good-byes. In the international world people come and go as fast as fads change. Growing up in the region of the world wedged between 3 continents, going to an international school representing over 20 nationalities as the people you've grown closest with, and each returning to their home country where you'll never see them again...... you'd think after being introduced and saying good-bye so many times, one would be use to it. I guess not.
On the other hand, I photographed a beautiful bride this afternoon as she walked out of the Jordan River Temple with her new husband and their families. Beautiful would probably be the best word to describe it, but that is undoubtedly an understatement. She GLOWED, with happiness. Literally. It was a cloudy day-- I'm pretty sure the light in her eyes wasn't coming from the Sun, but the source of her pure light illuminated up from the depths of her soul. She was beautiful. Her family was beautiful. It was cute, because after a while I noticed between every click of my camera, she would giggle-- mind you, I took over 800 photos. She was beyond Happy.
Life is full of sacrifices. But I also know, sacrifices are worth it. Even if they seem to get harder as you grow older, the joys that come from life also seem to become more fulfilling. I'm struggling trying to find a relation between these two stories other than the lesson that I've learned, is that some things in life are hard, but behind the corner is always something that will make up for your sorrow. The trick is to look for the silver lining.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Living Outside, would be wonderful.
I've never had a blog before, but I guess I'm starting just so my family can know more about what is going on in my life, and friends too. And maybe it will help me be better at expressing myself since i have such a hard time opening up to people anyway, lol.
Sometimes I wish I lived outside. Being able to play ultimate frisbee, and have barbecues. Wearing tie-dye t-shirts with your ward... wait, I think i did that today. But I do sometimes wish i lived outside. Today I swear I felt like I was in a movie as i walked around campus with birds singing, the grass was green, and you could start to see the trees budding. Maybe this is why I'm an environmental science major... I love being outside in warm weather, and I love how beautiful the Earth is!
Today in a review I went to, we talked about what causes weather, and it just blows my mind how perfectly everything seems to work together. The fact that the Earth tilts, the theory that it does tilt (and spins) because a huge chunk of rock rammed into it, (also forming the moon, which causes tides) and the spin causes global winds, which is why we have weather and rainforests and deserts, why we have day/night, and it just goes on and on! I'm just blown away at how perfectly complex but simple it seemed to work out.. I know it wasn't a coincidence, which makes me feel even more like I just want to be outside. Oh, how glorious!
Anyway, that's it for now. Yay, post #1. Not so exciting, but hopefully they'll get better :)
Sometimes I wish I lived outside. Being able to play ultimate frisbee, and have barbecues. Wearing tie-dye t-shirts with your ward... wait, I think i did that today. But I do sometimes wish i lived outside. Today I swear I felt like I was in a movie as i walked around campus with birds singing, the grass was green, and you could start to see the trees budding. Maybe this is why I'm an environmental science major... I love being outside in warm weather, and I love how beautiful the Earth is!
Today in a review I went to, we talked about what causes weather, and it just blows my mind how perfectly everything seems to work together. The fact that the Earth tilts, the theory that it does tilt (and spins) because a huge chunk of rock rammed into it, (also forming the moon, which causes tides) and the spin causes global winds, which is why we have weather and rainforests and deserts, why we have day/night, and it just goes on and on! I'm just blown away at how perfectly complex but simple it seemed to work out.. I know it wasn't a coincidence, which makes me feel even more like I just want to be outside. Oh, how glorious!
Anyway, that's it for now. Yay, post #1. Not so exciting, but hopefully they'll get better :)
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