Saturday, September 15, 2012

Fear and Love.

I feel like my blog has been calling my name.. for me to update it. There have been so many different ideas and things running through my mind lately though, that I hardly know what to do because I want to post about all of them. Maybe this just means multiple posts in shorter amounts of time. That always needs improvement anyway.

The number one thing that has been on my mind for quite some time now actually, is fear. What is it? In 1 John 4:18 the Apostle John describes it as, "Fear hath torment" and to me.. that's exactly what it is. It has its own cunning way of taking control when you don't even realize it, and it cuts you where it hurts the most. It keeps you from moving forward, becoming better... and that's why it feels like it has control. The last few days for me have been an especially fearful event. Although I was scared because I was looking for work, I think it really did cut me and leave me hanging in all other aspects of my life.. causing me to doubt myself. But I've started remembering some things that have helped.

About a week ago, I came across something that stuck out to me; something that I have continuously thought about since, because of how beautiful it was. In the bible dictionary (of the LDS King James Version) it says

"Fear is spoken of as something unworthy of a child of God..."

In other words, fear doesn't deserve you. You're way too good for it. 

When I see this, I think of what it means to be a child of God.You are a child of God. God is all loving, and He loves you. You can be an agent of His love in this life, and give that love to others. That same verse (1 John 4:18) also says that There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear." When we love, we evaporate our fear, which is the exact thing a child of God IS worth of: Love.

Now, I am going to be completely open. The truth is, I can be a very anxious person. I go through phases where the things that scare me the most make me extremely anxious, and then heighten my fear even more. The thing that sickens me the most about this downward spiral, is that I know that that is not who I am. I am outgoing and friendly, but not when I'm anxious and afraid, I'm totally different. Oh, I hate it more than anything else. But I am grateful; because it has taught me the importance of so many things. Here are some of the things I have learned to help me understand how to kill fear, and cherish love:

 1. Remember who you are--everything good that you've done in your life, and for other people... be it getting through hard classes, or living through a terrible experience, or even teaching someone something new; think of what you've done for others. Whether it has been comforting a friend in a hard time, helping with a difficult situation, or even doing little things to help them get bigger things done. Are you kind? Are you a good friend? The list could go on of all of the possible positive character traits that you possess. There are so many things that we don't give ourselves credit for. Take a moment, and write some of these down. Put this list in a place you will see it, when the going gets tough.

2. Gratitude. Noticing all of the little things around you. Oh, this one makes me especially happy. A roommate who is conscious of your worries and tries to help, getting to an intersection just as the light turns green, (or even on foot, if the crosswalk puts the white walking man allowing you to cross), rainy weather, birds outside your window chirping. Its the little things that matter most.

3. Love. Just like John says, it is love that casts out all fear. How can I apply a loving attitude to this fearful situation? I think I have to put msyelf in a situation wehre I will feel loved first, and then think how I can outwardly give my love.

4. Faith. Sometimes I think its good for us (at least for me) to do something daring. Not just because I like feeling thrilled.. but because I'm going to do something daring that in the end I know will be good for me. Exercising courage and faith always adds to my list of "who I am" because it is an accomplishment. When you do something scary because you know it will be good for you (moving somewhere new, standing up for what you believe in, going on a date, etc..) I've also found that the scarier something is for me, the better I feel about myself when I've done something about it. I beat the monster. I stabbed fear in the heart, and oh.. it felt absolutely glorious.

In conclusion I just wanted to reverberate what was so gracefully said in the bible dictionary on fear, "It is something spoken of as unworthy of a child of God." Just remember that. It doesn't deserve you, because you are of far greater worth... you are worth the Love that comes from God instead.