So, I have a funny story that I wasn't going to post, but my sister Rhiannon told me I should, and then i'll share an insight I picked up. Both of these happend on my way travelling back to the US just a few days ago...
So my first flight from Saudi was to Dubai. I had a 5 hr layover and just hung out and walked around.. when the time was nearing for my flight to take off, I went and sat near the gate. An older man came and sat next to me, and we started chatting. I learned he worked for a company in Iraq for the military, and there actually were a LOT of military guys on my flight going back to the states for a summer vacation.
In the Dubai airport, there are security check-points in front of every gate. But because on this particular occassion, they weren't working, everyone just walked through, they scanned you with hand scanners (because it's the middle east, women also go into a separate room to be scanned), and then you were to continue on into lines where people behind the counter would look through your stuff as you stood and watched them.
So the guy I lined up in front of, didn't speak English. Based only on his appearance I think he was from Indonesia, but I'm not sure. He started going through my bags, and pulled out a tampon. By the look on his face, I could tell he had no idea what it was. So he holds it up in the air, and I kid you not for almost 2 minutes straight is staring at it, playing with it trying to figure out what it was. I was so embarrassed! Usually I don't care about these things because I know that everyone knows what they are. I knew I couldn't just say the word "tampon" because I was nearly surrounded by US military men, and they would stare in my direction! And I couldn't explain to him what it was, becuase he didn't know English! I had no idea what to do, and just sat patiently waiting, hoping he'd give up and put it back into my bag...
Finally the lady next to him who was checking bags, looks up, starts laughing, looks at him and says the word "Napkin" (which is the word they use to describe those feminine things, but I guess it had slipped my mind because I usually don't use that word...) the guy, clearly embarrassed, stuffs it back into my bag and gives me my stuff back. It was so funny! Embarrassing for a few minutes, but nonetheless funny!
As for the lesson learned, I also thought about this because of an airport experience.
Something I've learnd about Arabs, more especially Saudis over the years, is that they are very sensitive to people's emotions. For example, let's say you're having a bad day. They can tell whether you're just stressed, versus if you're angry... like they can name the exact emotion.. and for someone like me, who generally likes to hide my negative emotions, that is crazy! In the past actually, it's upset me a lot because if I was having a bad day, they'd sit there and argue with me, it can get really frustrating.
So when I got to the airport in Dammam (a city about 40 min from my hometown in Saudi) I put my stuff through the scanner, and honestly I will admit I had a souvenir in my bag (that was framed) but when looking through the image in the scanner, makes it look sketchy. So the Saudi guard wanted to know why I had it, and I could tell he was ready to put up a fight if I put up a wall and argued with him, as so many people usually do argue with them...
Because of my experience though, I know that if I want to slide past the situation smoothly, I act chill and happy. So that's what I did, "Oh it's just a souvenir! It's framed" in the sweetest voice with a smile on my face and an understanding expression of why he's asking questions. He smiled back, said, "ok ok ok" and let me go. No problem. Done deal. Anyone whose lived in the Middle East for a time knows that this is how you get past any sort of trouble. Just act happy... even if you ARE having a bad day, you have to force yourself to get over it, and smile, or you will end up having to deal with a lot more than you want.
I guess as I walked away and thought about it, the connection I made was about kindness. All anyone wants, is kindness. In the years past I've learned that if I suck up my pride for at least 5 min I can get past angry security guards, passport officials, or the motauwas (religious police) and move on. But I realize that I can choose to do that anyway, even if I'm not in the presence of an authoritative figure. Even though I've known that I can choose to be happy and kind for 5 min when communicating, I think for the first time the impact of that lesson really hit me.
I think to myself, "Muriel, if you're upset... stop. No one, including yourself is benefiting from it." And as hard as it can be when frustration sets in, I know it is possible to stop, and I've seen many others do the same. (I mean yes, I believe there is a time for sadness and mourning or being upset/angry/frustrated or you'll bottle everything up and explode, but I also recognize it is unwise to stay there for too long, especially when you're with other people) I know it is possible in every situation in life: choose to be kind, choose to be happy, and you will therefore make others happy... no matter how you're feeling at the moment; it's surprising to me though that it is possible at how quick those emotions can evaporate! Showing kindness to another will erase all negativity within. Just like the saying always goes, "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice" as cheesy as it would be for me to end on that note, I know it's true. Kindness goes a long way, especially when you're upset.
ha ha....
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